love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
