i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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