one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize