She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
