Can i not drive my cunt home
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
