Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
