32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
