that's an acceptable place to lick
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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