Will you blow on my dice?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
