The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
