If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
They have beer where we have blood.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
