we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
