well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
