I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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