I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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