Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
