U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
