O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
