it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
