Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
