it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
