is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
