There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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