there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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