May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize