You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
