I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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