i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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