Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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