why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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