so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
two words...techno handjob
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
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