Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
