Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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