hotel room ftw
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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