it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
