i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
