he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
