There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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