I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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