You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
