The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
