This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
