I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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