I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
