party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
