I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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