i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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