Soap is not a condiment
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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