it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
