is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my liver is dry heaving
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Damn victory sex feels great
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
