Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
