Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
