I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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