So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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