So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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