he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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