he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize