there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
