I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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