You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize