thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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