you would pick up someone in the library
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize