you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize