Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Everclear isn't food dammit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
