Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
