I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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