She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize