The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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